a long time ago I made this mcbaseball topps card

McBaseball's a lost shade from a place and time long forgotten. Somewhere with no rogue umpires, no gods, no Shame. Somewhere with no Blaseball- no splorts at all

also lowkey feel like mcb hasn't ever talked to anyone on the team, they just kind of appear once in a while and then leave and everyone just Perceives them for a bit

okay so one of the foundational themes of mcbaseball is that they either half don't exist, or are very difficult to perceive

also consider: agender?

oh gosh what if it's literally a fax error like, you know how wills are executed as written? the fax machine jammed the first time we used it, and then mcb showed up?

mcbaseball isn't

Mcbaseball is what the players started calling them after insisting that the sport they were playing was, in fact, called base ball

Clembons: gosh i am so excited to play some baseball tacos: haha ok McBaseball McBaseball Clembons: what

OK SO WHAT IF MCBASEBALL WAS A BEEG YOSHI KIND OF CHARACTER

oh hey what if mcbaseball is from the Los Angelii that we currently live in

i like that. that's cursed Mcbaseball was your average, agender accountant (AAA) who accidentally fell into a fax machine from the Real World, and came out into the Immaterial Plane

What if they're just like. A perfectly normal baseball player. Is just here to play some sports. Friendly enough. Maybe gets a little too into the game but it's all in good fun. But something about them reads as deeply, primally Wrong.

mcbaseball clembons would be a perfectly average baseball player, but their skills don't quite translate to the blaseball universe because everyone has extra elbows and precognition and performance enhancing demons backing them up, and they don't have that. they're just a living approximation of the most average player of a sport that doesn't exist

Perfectly normal eldritch human whose form is difficult to perceive because you are perceiving every single baseball player who has ever lived at the same time

maybe clembons even acknowledges like "yeah after this conversation don't worry if you start to forget parts of your childhood that's mb"

Regular ass human but nobody has object permanence with respect to them. You forget all about them as soon as you look away.

what if mcbaseball is the only pitcher to throw, like, a straight standard curveball and everyone is like "how do you do that" "you're sure you're not using psychic powers?" "no wind control?" "no hidden strings?"

mcbaseball can't make any friendships in the clubhouse because everyone meeting them thinks they're meeting them for the first time, and only has a very hazy memory of past conversations

I feel like the cognitohazard being that they're so aggressively generic that they're hard to form opinions on is fun

like rat batson, i'd like to imagine neither McBaseball or Clembons are McBaseball Clembons' real name, but they don't have a choice in the matter anymore

their real non-mcbaseball name is something that's both extremely mundane and gender-neutral

So i had the idea that they're a completely normal person from the material plane who took a wrong turn and ended up in the immaterial plane, specifically Los Angeli

i was really proud of the "accidentally fell into a fax machine" line because that's just such a thing that would not happen

or if McB is literally and 'average' person. In a normal city they would just be an average human, but enter Los Angelis/blaseball, outliers would mess with them

mcbaseball: i had this really crazy dream once where i fell into a fax machine and then was somewhere else and everyone just started idolizing me out of nowhere? i guess it was a prophecy or something because im here now the tacos: [sweats nervously]

my thoughts here are like: Son Scotch is a cool eldritch thing that makes them appear to be just a normal dude. McB as just a normal dude in a way that makes them appear to be eldritch because of... uh, stuff.

this is the second time they accidentally fell into the fax machine

McB is only a cognitohazard and terrifying because they aren't either of those things, and everything else in blaseball is

also if we want a Normal Person Name - Samuel Clembons Roberts (Sam and bob both included!)

maybe their wiki page has been subjected to a fax error

oh hm if they're a normal person can we format it like Wikipedia? white background, etc.

like a sense of direction bad enough to be actively hazardous in infinite LA. like once they went for groceries and vanished for 3 weeks so now the shadows players have to pair up and hold hands when out in public.

"you're not on the roster. who are you"

you know McBaseball, he's decent at pitching he's friendly enough he's ambidextrous and about average height

the superimposed idea gives me vibes that they have an afterimage, like when they move you see not only their present position but a few frames of their past

maybe their wiki page is stitched together from fragments of other writings in some way?

dangit i missed the start of this but yesterday along with aubz’s idea i thought what if mcbaseball just has like, a supernaturally bad sense of direction, and the reason they showed up instead of sportsman is because they got lost on the way to the coffee machine

their mantra is just “You’re not crazy, it’s the universe that’s wrong.” (they’re not wrong tbh)

if mcbaseball was from early 20th century thatd just make their confusion about blaseball even worse lol i support it

(ellie faxes back in) Ellie: hey guys whatd i miss Rat: uh McD: you missed... somebody.... Basilito: somebody weird Fig (shelled): RRRRm wrm Basilito: yeah. REALLY weird. Sexton: never bring this up again. Rat: ever

i forgot to sign up for lore-pings for this so i'm well out of the snowball that's already rolled here, but my pitch was going to be like an old-school black dude like the guys who played in the N-gro Leagues in the first half of the 20th century. Is he literally from that time and somehow here, or is he just a really intense cosplayer of a lost era? who can say. thanks for your time

sexton: women fear me, fish fear me mcdowell: women fear me, fish fear me, men turn their eyes away from me as i walk, no beast dare makes a sound in my presence, i am alone on this barren earth mcbaseball:

What if they have bad direction because they keep trying to navigate Al pastor like its from the Los Angeli they're from. Like they are positive they're just in dodger stadium

This is in response to @Unknown's suggestion. man ok so like, if they came from the 30s or whenever (keep in mind the fax machine is a 19 century invention), being agender really didn't... exist? like at all? Not for a regular American dude. And if they were black, and played when things were segregated... that's a very, very "determined" place for them to have come from. So to just, fall in a fax machine, come out in this just... incredibly diverse, wild, league? Like there's a tree playing? What? This is a story of self-discovery, for someone who's older. Like, Basilito is black and that's important but not like, defining, Ivy is just over there all doing a 1080 kickflip into gender and they're this 30 year old guy from the 30s with feelings. And also, i'd like to say that, given that history and time period, seeing your peers taken from you at random by authority figures wouldn't be the shocking part of this experience.

bmase, leading mcb around: "this is sexton, he's a centaur" mcb: "hmmm. yeah, okay." bmase: "that over there is mcdowell, he's a--" thinks about best word to use "--bigfoot?" mcb: "well, he certainly is." bmase: "several of our players got put into giant peanut shells, we roll them onto the field to play defense." mcb: "I guess that makes sense." bmase, making a bit of a face while explaining: "that's a leftover from a previous era. there was a giant evil peanut god, so we had to kill them." mcb, eyes glinting: "damn right you did"

theyre human bigfoot. mcd is a sasquatch species wise and therefore has bigfoot traits, but mcb is Human Bigfoot. full on cryptid. spotted in strange, improbable places. now that the shadows lore embargo no longer applies to em, lots of those places are in the stadium. ya go down a hallway in search of some spare chairs, and there they are passing across the far end of it. get turned around at night lookin for the kitchen and theres a room no one uses with lights on and movement inside. mcbaseball

(also i think mcd and mcb would be a cute couple. lumberjack bear 4 lumberjack bear. they share flannels)

whatever the sky looked like during the unslam is what the team thinks McB looks like but they look in the mirror and see a normal human

what if mcb is pre alt Sexton, called back by fax error

Bad Timing is a great character trait, and it's a great character trait that I think mcb should always have

Ivy is the only person who can hang out with McB without any cognitohazard traits. they just hang out at 2 am talking about reality and the meaning of existence

concept: mcb is obv a new addition/an old addition whos newly more active with the team. they mostly unintentionally sneak around the team spaces and theyre near impossible to pin down and almost no one knows much about them except. ivy acts like theyre a Normal and Equally Present member of the team

mcb didn't throw the quantum curveball but they walked in the way accidentally while trying to go to the fridge to pick up a beer

also an interaction that would be kinda neat if it was a comic maybe Sexton is trying to have small talk with McB but he keeps turning away and rubbing his eyes. He apologizes profusely, saying he's got a headache before McB shuts him down and says that they know it's their face causing Sexton discomfort. Cut to mcB "Don't worry."

"I get that a lot."

whatever it is, [wakes up in a cold sweat except not really because i'm already awake] mcbaseball has a mullet

I like the idea that Clem gets confused whenever anyone calls them McBaseball and then the people who call them McBaseball get confused because they have no idea why they said it or what a baseball is

These long moments of pause where nobody know whats happening before Clem says their name is Clem and they don't know any McWhatevers

Just the idea that despite this being their name they're physically incapable of acknowledging, understanding, or remembering it. And neither can anyone else. But they all still know so when their minds slip these weird moments just happen

tangent but Fishing Squad's Humorously Long Text Hats Sexton: Birds Want Me, Fish Fear Me, Peanuts Want Me Dead McDowell: Women Fear Me, Fish Fear Me, Men Turn Their Eyes Away From Me as I walk. No beast dare makes a sound in my presence. I am alone on this barren earth McBaseball: I am the bone of my fishing pole. Wood is my body and string is my blood. I have created a thousand poles. Unknown to lost bait, nor known to caught fish. Have withstood years to cast many times yet, those hands will never hold any Crucian Carp. So, as I pray, Unlimited Fish Works.

the word "baseball" is a minor cognitohazard for blaseball players

One of my original thoughts was that they were a poorly disguised alien doing the line-of-sight name thing

The scene of Clem introducing themselves and someone asking "Hey what about your first name." And Clem starting to say it, stuttering, then blanking out for the better half of a minute before apologizing and asking what the question was again. Same person asks someone else and the phenomenon repeats, again and again, person after person, until eventually they come to Al Pastor who just shows them a sheet of paper that has it written down. The person tries to say the name they see written but their voice catches in their throat. Their eyes start to water. They don't know what they're looking at but it hurts. Al pats them on the shoulder as they fall to their knees, eyes staring at the ground. When they look up he's there offering them a taco. They take it. Once they do Al is gone and they can't for the life of them remember why they're kneeing on the ground.

Sexton : who was that? Mcmason: I was really hoping you knew

McBaseball Clembons as a sort of "Racer X" or "Tuxedo Mask" archetype. basically the living embodiment of "My work here is done." "But you didn't do anything." Mysterious, cool one-liners, shows up when needed and disappears when you look away. but awkwardly not great at blaseball.

He has Theories about why Blaseball is the way it is

hmmmmmmmmmmm clem mcbaseball concept (eyestrain maybe lol?)

I still like the idea of shrill screams from the crowd when they were announced to be taking the field

I think that McBaseball wears a baseball shaped helmet like the ball guy from pokemon sword and shield

McBaseball: So sad babe ruth died of ligma Yummy: Who's babe ruth

McBaseball spends all their time in the Shadows making up stories about a game called baseball

mcbaseball thinks all the Ls are silent. the first time someone says "blaseball" they just immediately go "oh you mean baseba?" and everyone looks at them like "what"

McBaseball believes the first "L" in "blaseball" is silent.

McBaseball pitched because Sportsman told them to do so.

is this anything lmao

#visual-art McB holding beeg yoshi: Sexton: uh what is that thing McB: it's beeg yoshi Yummy: can I eat it, looks pretty juicy and chewy McB: what no he's a friend Rats scurrying over and around it Macy: they seem to agree, it is friend, but I will don't know what that thing is besides weird and green Friend? New friend? Pepito: runs by and snatches the beeg yoshi plush but holds gentle like hamborger

ah! then exclusively mcbaseball calls him skipper

McBaseball C(lem)b(ons)

Hello from McBaseball