okay so I would like Michelle to be an exclusive she/her pronoun user because I don't believe we have any of those on the team anymore ever since Hex left

We don't have much mum energy. So I had was playing through Raji. So basing a character on Durga felt right to me. She can do everything and does it well. So team mum energy

In the sad horse comic I made she is the physical therapist, and I think it would be neat If she got into blaseball kind of as an offshoot of her occupation

Also. Knows how to drive. Has license. Has a mini van with a taco family sticker on the back windscreen

"talking to god" makes me imagine not like hyperreligious or anything but rather constantly on the phone as if god were like a coworker or something

I have her closer to 30 than 20. But not in that veteran age like mcd/sexton but that "clearly not one of the younger ones" Soo... Same as bmase

Like she's just into splorts in general and isn't necessarily good at blaseball, but knows how to take care of the body and play "correctly"

:o klickball mom

Blaseball is not the only thing Michelle does. She always has her hands full with some task. Whether it's therapy, relief pitching, making sure everyone is hydrated

Michelle and Natha were best friends. Natha taught her the importance of breakfast. They went to school together and picked up some of that mom energy from her, because Natha always brought/made extra food for Michelle.

Good call there. On that same note. Unlike Patel, I don't think Michelle is second gen. She is first gen LA

i havent been involved because bonk but i think people have been illegally hc'ing her as Hindu too which i think would be good to preserve

aaaaaaand 2. Pregame Ritual: Talking to god. we gotta do something with this.

Michelle Sportsman is aro, her main mode of relationships are Sportsmanships

"posture check"

I think she should have an annoying trait of correcting people's posture/position when they're just hanging out

i kind of like the idea that she's fairly firm and unapologetic about people playing to their strengths. "Fish you have four rings. What is this nonsense about pitching. Get out of here."

that's also why she didn't fill in for yummy this season; she knew she'd kick too much ass to let yummy back on the field, so she told mcbaseball to get out there instead

McBaseball pitched because Sportsman told them to do so.

Michelle Sportsman is a being made up of the wills of people in #voting-siesta

(I'm currently just imagining wii fit trainer sorry yall)

ok, hc Michelle talks to god and is deeply spiritual, but it's like a "this is something that makes me feel better about my place in the world", very nonjudgemental and she talks to god the same way she talks to like, a misbehaving player like "ai, god you should know better than to have done that"

i want michelle and breadwinner best friends omg, (im sure theyve rivals or smth tbh though)

i think michelle is definitely a competitive person

yeah my reads on her with the rotation yummy: tight in a like avuncular way. yummy is a great student for physical training and her many incredibly weird habits roll easily off michelle's back. also michelle makes great food and yummy eats it. vito and sexton: first proposed the Sexy Skeleton Swap, and also hated when people called it that. gives Vito a hard time any time he acts like he doesn't really want to practice or pretends like he's gonna quit. she calls the Magic once a week to make sure Sexton is staying on his training regimen correctly. Ivy: convinced a nervous and skittish Ivy that they could actually be a good pitcher and helped them practice in the aftermath of their transfusion. she calls the Georgias once a week to make sure they are performing proper shell maintenance.

I like "cool but tough aunt" vibes

i definitely think both due to their shadows proximity and just the personalities established she is like personally tight with yummy in a way that she isn't specifically with anyone else. like, most of the team are co-workers she gets along with well but she actually has yummy over for dinner. this also means she knows who yummy's shadow gf is and absolutely refuses to even give a hint to anyone who asks about it.

I’m late and have an awful headache but i imagined sportsman as a multidimensional splortscaster

[ring.... ring....] "hello? ...what? ...hold on, what do you mean a 'big yoshi' kind of training regimen"

She used to play a different splort, then retired and became a splortscaster, and then joined the Tacos when she wanted to get back into playing again

rat, accidentally: "thanks, mom" m: "what?"

al has never once actually coached yeah michelle has actually done all of the coaching, but the team didn't actually find out about her existence until dove was sent to the shadows and introduced the team to her

She always wears tracksuits. She has an everyday one and a formal one and a casual one and everyone thinks they look the same except bmase, who rolls his eyes but he gets it.

Michelle Sportsman, gently telling Wheerer to put the flippers down, yes there's a lot of flooding and yes they're really cool but how about you wear like actual sports horseshoes instead and that's why Sexton got all those stars that one time

yes i like these vibes i think michelle deserves to disagree with mcdowell...

M:"Wyatt Mason Four" I:"its Ivy" M:"Wyatt Mason Ivy"

i definitely can see a bit of a dogs-with-food vibe here where they both 100% respect one another because they fully recognize each other's skill but they also know that any time there's a disagreement about what to do next it's gonna be the two of them butting heads

mcdowell's more of like... an in-the-moment sort of leader, while michelle's probably more of a planner and a behind-the-scenes trainer so while there's definitely room for them to clash (and i think they totally should) it's not necessarily always them getting in the way of one another

i also think that the mental image of a team mom in a tracksuit starting fights with a hairy beast who's at least a foot and a half taller than her is really good

are we gonna start chanting "posture check" ,,

Michelle: Mcdowell Sasquatch Mason, you had your time with this team and your training methods were, "Go hit", "Use this machine I bought at Godwill", "Sexton will pitch 99 games". That is enough. We are a proper blaseball organisation and we will have proper training methods. I have already started with Sexton on some exercises, YOU ARE NEXT. Mcd: grumblingSome of that was Pothos and Patel. Michelle: I heard that, and they arent here. So, recovery days. You cant just lounge in a bucket of luke warm mountain dew. It has to be ICE COLD mountain dew if you want to be able to play consistently over a season.

michelle and mcd yell at each other on the field about a disagreement in fielding strategy Michelle: And one more thing. Mcdowell, you should stop arguing with me and go do your routine because craning your neck downwards to look at me is going to make you fail posture check.

She and Mcd secretly go out for a baja blast occasionally to talk about how proud they are of the team but they don't want anyone to know because they think it'd mess up the team vibes

McDowell "go hit the ball for 6 hours" Mason vs Michelle "modern kinesiology" Sportsman

McDowell's a little softer, encourages rest and recovery, while Michelle's a tougher, "if it's hard you have to be harder" type

so is she only pitching cuz there's a big hole in the roster and she can do it because she's technically on the team but her heart is in coaching and training?

"Talking to god" doesn't mean she's any less forceful about her opinions than talking to anyone else

she's tough, but not a hypocrite also she has perfect posture yummy got her once with a posture check three months ago and yummy is still happy about it

vito has never once passed a posture check

"Sit up straight or else you'll end up like Vito." "Dead??" "No, worse: Grumpy and with a bad back."

does not understand how you can be "good" or "bad" at fishing. irrationally hates fishing competitions

Sportsman's van somehow has any splorts equipment you need. All she needs to do is open the trunk and viola, it's there. Maybe it's tapped into the infinity, magic or both.

Oh yeah, the pitching staff right now all are from the same mold SHOWBOATS Vito - wants to be the best Yummy - wants to prove themselves to be a part of the team they grew up idolising Fish - the SHOWIEST MEMBER OF THE TEAM Michelle- Extremely competitive

Michelle and Rat Batson running down the equipment list before away games together.

Michelle and Bevan have in-depth conversations about extra-dimensional storage as it relates to vans

ahahaha it's the exact opposite of her mcd dynamic. Michelle/Mcdowell: get along swimmingly off-duty; both care so much and have such strong (and reasonable) positions that they clash in practice about strategy Michelle/Vito: absolutely not a social match; 100% in-tune in practice

Equipment manager and assistant to the equipment manager.

ratbat is the only other person who knows how to fit everything perfectly in the trunk of michelle's minivan

I mean ratbat is the eq manager, Michelle is just a good coach and detail oriented

quick design idea for sportsman

i know sportsman is usually pretty tough on players who don't really pull their weight but i think there was none of that for rat batson because she understood that batson kinda came in at an inconvenient time and was only playing out of necessity when its real talent was elsewhere

the night after Envy got incinerated was so terrible for everyone, but nightmarish for Chell because she stayed up for two or three days without sleep just to try to get everyone on track to win despite that. It was such a terrible experience that it changed her and drove her away from that mentality

ON USING FILM TO TEACH Michelle used NaN pitching film to help Ivy improve. "You see Wyatt, over time if we allow bad habits to form, you would have these odd hitches in your throwing mechanics like this "shows NaN pitching for the Worms". However, we caught on to this from now, and you should have no problem if you adjust your weight more to this side and follow through completely in your throwing action"

michelle saw fish on the team and got excited, then saw where on the roster fish was and got outraged

yeah Michelle is in the middle of this big rant to McD's face all about "You let Sexton pitch all on his own all this time! It has to be said that this was a terrible idea" and everything's coming to a head, McD is apologizing and coming around on it, and then Chell drops the bombshell. "Besides, it would have been WAY better if you made Vito pitch all 198 of those games." and vito's just like WHAT

"You should really do something about this whole honey-roasted problem," "How did You get Our number?"

i think michelle speaking to a blaseball god will be bad news for everyone. cause she would accidentally say "why are you doing things this way, if you want to do xyz, you should <insert more effiecent method here>"

I've been sitting on this for a while.

What are yall doing? Felix, you should be in left field. I am so glad you all finally realised that Vito would be a better pitching than sexton, he won't have any wear and tear on the pitching ligaments because well.. He has none. Mcdowell you are more suited for cleanup. I know you've always hit in the first inning but you are much more suited to batting runners in. No questions. I know what I'm saying!

not to piggyback off jello again but lore brain go brrrr sexton: yummy's mentor who also teaches yummy about blaseball michelle: yummy's mentor who yummy teaches about blaseball like michelle's mechanics are perfect, obviously, but some stuff just doesn't come naturally somehow so yummy, the ever-intuitive blaseball pitcher who's worked zir way to this point forever, decides to take michelle under zir wing to help her through it

michelle sportsman is a frequent poster in #website-feedback

heck Michelle prolly talks to herself the same way, she has to have really high standards for herself right?

imagine being able to explain muscle groupings during a swing while the skeleton acts it out for you

that gives me breadwinner vibes omg i wonder if they were friends when bread was still in LA...

God is #voting-siesta and she talks to Al for us so that the team makes good moves

She was hired to fix the horse and now she can't leave and has been a pain in al pastors side ever since

Michelle: positive, selfless, empathetic, but also a little stubborn and can fall into "I know best". Both is and has a "vent friend"

they clash like professionals though, she's a lot of very "I think if you look at the statistics you'll find they disagree with you" unless you suggest something dangerous in which case she once shouted down dovenpart for like, 20 minutes in front of everyone for trying to practice infinity pitches

Game day, Michelle lets Mcdowell lead, because he IS the better leader. She knows it and has no issue admitting it. No squabbles on game day. Just "Yes Cap'n"

Michelle absolutely does not like hanging out with Vito but during their practice/training they have the most chemistry of anyone. Like Vito is the best learner she could hope for

Chell shows up to try and help with equipment, just trying to be kind and an overworker Batson is organizing ten different sets of equipment, one set for every Rat Mason "SINCE WHEN WERE THERE TEN RAT MASONS WE NEED TO EQUIP SEPARATELY?!" "Haha, there's not ten. There's thirty! I'm a third of the way there " "AAAAAAAAAAAA"

Michelle roasts everyone's game footage but also makes sure everyone knows that she loves them.

okay w/r/t rat and michelle: i think Chell is too stressed out by the prospect of getting to know 30 Rat Masons that she's all business with them. nothing negative, just basically doesn't interface with the many-realities Rat Masons even though they'd share friendship/knowledge

Michelle is the only person on the team who can provide helpful pitching advice to Yummy at her current level. even then Michelle has to spend a lot of time in the library researching

Vincent's death and the fallout afterwards kinda made her go "oh these are people with feelings."

oh this is what he and michelle actually get along on though

um I gotta say Chell is a great nickname, I love her dynamic with everyone, it really feels like she brings the whole team together and makes it a more real functioning team, as opposed blaseball just happening to characters if you know what I mean

like she phoned up the Shelled One and was like "your peanuts have been making our players sick lately and nothing else!" and then there's this horrible loud reverberating sound on the other end of the line and then Leaf goes nuclear

also, Chell abides by the rules, and knows even elsewhere, she cant just start playing for the team then and there. the season had already begun

I would not be surprised if Chell already warned all the teammates if she ever shows up wearing a pineapple shaped hat to be very cautious.

i love the vibe that she has a nickname everyone uses but she never uses nicknames for anyone else

Chell is the only person on the Tacos to know Al's real address. Even if he moves to throw her off, she's in his living room a week later, having raided his fridge to make a sandwich

Al: reclining in his otherworldly temple Michelle: AL THE TEAM NEEDS FUNDS FOR RENNOVATIONS! Al: Chell I'm busy get the fans to crowdfund it Michelle: YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING Al: You don't know that Michelle: Yes I do Al: ...nuh uh Michelle: YUH HUH I GOT YOU ON CAMERA YOU LAZY

I now HC Al Pastor as a lesser trickster diety and Michelle is his like... human contact or w/e the one who does the busy "hey guys this is my god he's neat" stuff while he revels in praise. Through a legal loophole praise of the Tacos is praise of him so he doesn't have to do any actual god work

i think that this makes him even more annoyed by michelle, who will not hesitate to call him up or send him a fax or break into his house to yell at him for bad and irresponsible decisions.

I also feel like before NV's incineration, Michelle was all in on optimizing the team even if she hurt feelings

I think also then the Bevan Sexton switch was organized by her, with consent from both, as both an act of good will and help toward the Magic, she saw how the Snackrifice destroyed the Tacos, and also she needs that sweet sweet magic tech to help her and RatBat deal with all the new equipment needed since Rat Mason got infused

hi im late to the michelle sportsman jam but I think she pitches using a glolf club

(also she has mom energy)

Michelle and fish summer lifting buddies

i kinda like the idea that sportsmans god is really insecure about being mistaken for other things or other gods, which might not go anywhere i dont know but seems interesting

Maybe she meant to write ‘dog’ but misspelled it in a hurry

i like to think that god is just some regular guy named god she talks to

god is her regular guy friend who she vents to about the things the rest of the team is getting up to

@Unknown Michelle's strong independent woman energy prevents anyone from censoring her.

Dumb idea: Michelle has a medal in every sport ever and most of them have other people's names that've been crossed out. When asked where she got them she says she beat the original owners. She never clarifies how or when she beat them but whenever she talks about it it never sounds like it has anything to do with the sports the medals are supposed to be for

2016 High School Flootball LA County Champions The San Andreas Robots Michelle Sportsman 2007 Women's Tlennis World Champion Francisca McKansas Michelle Sportsman 1997 Sloftball World Champions The Omaha Clocks Michelle Sportsman The Omaha Clocks Michelle Sportsman The South Street Sambas Michelle Sportsman

i think Chell should pitch in a funny wacky unique way. maybe with one of those tennis screams

on that note, i don't know if sportsman is really like, a hyper-competive All-Sportser. she may own trophies from various sports but blaseball is her calling, which makes her wholly unique compared to the rest of every taco we've had

Oh yes, a taco who actually, genuinely enjoys blaseball is new and good

first time hopping on in awhile so please lmk if anyone’s suggested this but! i know there was some discussion re: having more fat rep on the tacos and particularly how yummy was probably not the right fit for that, but i think it would be pretty rad if michelle sportsman (lore discussion points to her being competitive, competent, athletic!) was fat, imo! i’m working on my HC design for her rn and that’s the framework i’m operating off of at least, so i wanted to drop my two cents on that (even though i’m not very active here haha )

super rough draft bc i’m 100% supposed to be writing a paper rn but basically i love her, thank you

tbh a team grandma would be an absolutely perfect team dynamic, because the Tacos are already sorta like a massive dysfunctional (but still loving) family

Oh, and Michelle learned how to make pupusas from one of her co-workers (this was before she signed up for klickball blaseball) And now she makes them after every team win. Basilito is absolutely addicted to them, and eats one before every away game.

Thinking about Chelle hearing about Ronan being the sole survivor the Blaseball-Glolf Conflict and immediately taking it as a challenge. "Guys, she's the only remaining Glolf player left. If I take her out, I'd be the best Glolfer. So here's my ten-step plan for a Steak Taco Final..."

Basilito: Hey McDowell... can we talk in private? McD: Oh, uhh, sure. Basilito: Thanks, it's just... it's Michelle. McD: Oh, what's going on? She pushing you too hard? Getting on your nerves? Basilito: No, no -well yes- but that's not the problem. The problem is... Basilito: looks around Basilito: whispers My team won first place in flutbol back in middle school Michelle:

This but Michelle and Ronan

Michelle sportsman is the best at what qe does. What does qe do you ask? Splorts, all of them. Sportsman has a championship ring in almost all splorts. Sloccer, flootball, blasketball, even glolf. Now, qe comes for the hardest of the blunch, blaseball

I like to think Michelle gave that to him after she noticed he started actually playing blaseball. Sporstman and ratbat make a custom helmet for him that has travelling pockets "Saftey first!" Like bringing in the whole mom energy

https://twitter.com/Fancymancer/status/1392232613453045761 Newest member of the LA Unlimited Tacos Pitching Rotation. Everybody meet Michelle Sportsman. #blaseball Twitter

Pothos was, to me, a short hot head butch jock who 100% says 'do you even lift' un-ironically. She was friends with Basil, and a complete asshole to most other people. Kinda scary, not someone that would be easy to make friends with. Basil and Pothos love each other but when they're in the room talking they make you feel small and insignificant. I love them and their dynamic but like, it wasn't healthy for them and didn't help the team at all. Chelle is, just, like, a good person. Super friendly, helpful, into team work and communication. The type of person you would bring with you if you need to do something that is either physically or emotionally rough. Idk they hit different sides of the spectrum for me. But I wanna draw, like, chunky buff Chelle so much

michelle sportsman my love

I think it would be very nice if Chell and merOtten held hands and cuddled

I love kilo's batson tweet about Sportsman taking care of C---b Al----do after their allergic reaction right before they're pitching against us and I think that Sportsman would indeed routinely take care of players on other teams as quickly as she would the Tacos. No teams, just players, and sometimes they're all hers.

Otten uses Michelle's full name and Chell uses Mickie's nickname when they're being cute with each other

Michelle roasted Wyatt Mason to teach Wyatt Mason how to play like anybody but Wyatt mason

i want her to be from england just so we can explore england being sucked into a whirlpool liverwhirlpool real